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Leaving [...Except no, what he's really doing is sliding down the wall to sit on the floor before he does something embarrassing like faint. He's going to need to just... close his eyes and breathe for little bit. Organs, he knows the last month has been an exercise in misery, but please don't fail him just yet he still needs you.]
... Leaving soon.
... Leaving soon.
[Wow, he sounds terrible. Like, really terrible, which is a surprise considering he'd assumed that Van had been well-cared for by his sister, or one of the dozens of healers living in Luceti by now. Had it really been that bad?
And Asch suddenly finds himself in the uncomfortable position of not feeling sure whether or not to be amused or sympathetic at the man's plight. He doesn't like it, not one bit.]
That's not an answer.
And Asch suddenly finds himself in the uncomfortable position of not feeling sure whether or not to be amused or sympathetic at the man's plight. He doesn't like it, not one bit.]
That's not an answer.
[Even as superhumanly resilient as he apparently is, Van has a few problems that just aren't going to be solved by a healer, or by current conventional medical science, for that matter.
Of course, he probably could have shrugged it off again, if he had been eating, or sleeping; but every time he looks at food, his stomach turns, and every time he lays down to rest... it's better to not consider what he sees instead of sleeping.
When he looks at Asch, his eyes aren't dull with sickness, but glassy and more pupil than blue; and he bares his teeth in an expression that's more snarl than smile. He's hurting, and he's stressed, and truce be damned, if he's pushed a little farther he'll snap.]
I don't owe you an answer. I'll be out of your sight soon enough. [...As soon as he's done being lightheaded on the dirty floor of a public stairway.]
Of course, he probably could have shrugged it off again, if he had been eating, or sleeping; but every time he looks at food, his stomach turns, and every time he lays down to rest... it's better to not consider what he sees instead of sleeping.
When he looks at Asch, his eyes aren't dull with sickness, but glassy and more pupil than blue; and he bares his teeth in an expression that's more snarl than smile. He's hurting, and he's stressed, and truce be damned, if he's pushed a little farther he'll snap.]
I don't owe you an answer. I'll be out of your sight soon enough. [...As soon as he's done being lightheaded on the dirty floor of a public stairway.]
[Actually, yes, he does owe Asch an answer... is what he'd like to say. But he's well aware of the fact that Van is just as stubborn as he is, and when the man doesn't feel like explaining himself properly, he won't. It's annoying, and it's enough to make Asch scowl and turn away, starting towards the second-floor kitchen again. If he wants to be so secretive about what's very likely going on - that is to say, Van's current living arrangements include his damned apartment building - then fine, whatever. He'll figure it out soon enough. He doesn't care what state Van's in right now. Why should he?
....
He shouldn't. He really, really shouldn't. Which is why he he's confused by the fact that, as he's returning to the stairs a few moments later with the retrieved pot in hand, he sets it down and sits himself down on the steps, a few feet away from where Van is resting. He doesn't speak, barely even looks at the man. Yes still, he sits.
...Why the hell did he just do that...? He's not worried! He's just.
Gloating. That's it, he's gloating. Van is helpless right now and it's fun to watch, ha. It's a perfectly valid reason to stop.]
....
He shouldn't. He really, really shouldn't. Which is why he he's confused by the fact that, as he's returning to the stairs a few moments later with the retrieved pot in hand, he sets it down and sits himself down on the steps, a few feet away from where Van is resting. He doesn't speak, barely even looks at the man. Yes still, he sits.
...Why the hell did he just do that...? He's not worried! He's just.
Gloating. That's it, he's gloating. Van is helpless right now and it's fun to watch, ha. It's a perfectly valid reason to stop.]
Stopped to gawk, Asch? You'll find it less amusing when it's your turn.
[Van wants to leave it at that, he really does. He'd prefer not admit anything, to anyone, about what got him into this nightmarish state; but if he says nothing, Asch will just shrug it off as posturing, an empty threat.
...And if he's entirely honest, which he almost never is, he doesn't want to see what state Asch might get himself into, if he suffers the same without warning. They're enemies. They'd kill each other without a second thought. (...Perhaps not without a second thought.)
...Unfortunately for Van, his one great weakness is that that's never prevented him from caring about someone.]
They're after hyperresonance.
[Van wants to leave it at that, he really does. He'd prefer not admit anything, to anyone, about what got him into this nightmarish state; but if he says nothing, Asch will just shrug it off as posturing, an empty threat.
...And if he's entirely honest, which he almost never is, he doesn't want to see what state Asch might get himself into, if he suffers the same without warning. They're enemies. They'd kill each other without a second thought. (...Perhaps not without a second thought.)
...Unfortunately for Van, his one great weakness is that that's never prevented him from caring about someone.]
They're after hyperresonance.
[Even if Van had remained silent, Asch wouldn't have risen to the bait; he knows better, and with the state Van's in right now, he can't really be bothered with simple arguments. He knows that it's all talk. Maybe that's the point of him stopping like this. He knows Van can't do anything here- no threats, no intimidation, no looming with that stupid unfair height advantage. No violence, even with the zero-contact limitation he'd placed on the man. All they can do is talk.
So... maybe they need to talk.
He's quiet for a long moment even after Van's confession, his gaze focused intently on their stairs in front of him. So that's what happened. It explains a lot- a natural hyperresonance is tiring enough as it is, but a forced one? He can't even imagine.
Still, it's Van's openness that surprises him more than the words itself.]
...I know. They've done this before.
So... maybe they need to talk.
He's quiet for a long moment even after Van's confession, his gaze focused intently on their stairs in front of him. So that's what happened. It explains a lot- a natural hyperresonance is tiring enough as it is, but a forced one? He can't even imagine.
Still, it's Van's openness that surprises him more than the words itself.]
...I know. They've done this before.
They'll do it again.
[Van hates feeling helpless, more than anything else in the world. Helpless, while his entire life is decided in advance. Helpless, while the only people who cared about him die useless, senseless deaths so men and women who never knew them can live happily. Helpless, while all he had left turn their backs on him, and he can only go forward because there are no other options left.
...Helpless, strapped down and drugged delirious, which stopped him fighting but never dulled the pain, wired up and stuck with needles, and he could never remember names or faces but the mocking voices were always infuriatingly clear, even though he never knew if they were just in his head or not.
And it's not in the past anymore. It could happen again. It could happen tomorrow. Sixteen years of hate and bitterness and resentful defiance, and he's no more capable of protecting himself now than he was then. Helpless.
He hisses through his teeth.]
But that doesn't matter to you, does it?
[Van hates feeling helpless, more than anything else in the world. Helpless, while his entire life is decided in advance. Helpless, while the only people who cared about him die useless, senseless deaths so men and women who never knew them can live happily. Helpless, while all he had left turn their backs on him, and he can only go forward because there are no other options left.
...Helpless, strapped down and drugged delirious, which stopped him fighting but never dulled the pain, wired up and stuck with needles, and he could never remember names or faces but the mocking voices were always infuriatingly clear, even though he never knew if they were just in his head or not.
And it's not in the past anymore. It could happen again. It could happen tomorrow. Sixteen years of hate and bitterness and resentful defiance, and he's no more capable of protecting himself now than he was then. Helpless.
He hisses through his teeth.]
But that doesn't matter to you, does it?
[That earns him a sharp glance at last, and Asch narrows his eyes, studying Van for a moment. Doesn't matter? Why wouldn't it matter? Even considering how he feels about Van right now, even considering how little he trusts the man who'd practically raised him, even considering the scar on his chest that proved how well they got along these days-
Even with all of that, he's not heartless. And seeing Van like this reminds him of a great many things, not least of all how he'd felt, all those years ago, tied to a table and forced to endure more pain than a child ought to experience in a lifetime, never mind a single session.
The Malnosso have done that. To him, and now, he understands, to Van. He knows what they can do. What they've done in the past.
And Van did it to him. So why would it not matter?]
Stop making assumptions about what I believe or how I feel.
Even with all of that, he's not heartless. And seeing Van like this reminds him of a great many things, not least of all how he'd felt, all those years ago, tied to a table and forced to endure more pain than a child ought to experience in a lifetime, never mind a single session.
The Malnosso have done that. To him, and now, he understands, to Van. He knows what they can do. What they've done in the past.
And Van did it to him. So why would it not matter?]
Stop making assumptions about what I believe or how I feel.
[The lightheadness is well past, now. Van could just get up and leave. Walk away from a tiring conversation with a tiring individual, just one more thing in his life that he no longer has any control over...
But he doesn't. All he does is push away from the wall, and compose himself with a little more haggard dignity.]
Assumptions are all I have left to make of you. Certainly not sense; what you said before the draft makes less now than it did then.
But he doesn't. All he does is push away from the wall, and compose himself with a little more haggard dignity.]
Assumptions are all I have left to make of you. Certainly not sense; what you said before the draft makes less now than it did then.
[Asch scowls at that, unable to help himself.]
I can't imagine that you didn't enjoy watching me "learn my lesson" for that. [Not that he's promising that any lesson was indeed learned- he has yet to renounce the conditions of their truce, after all.] You've never been a gentle teacher.
I can't imagine that you didn't enjoy watching me "learn my lesson" for that. [Not that he's promising that any lesson was indeed learned- he has yet to renounce the conditions of their truce, after all.] You've never been a gentle teacher.
You may have learned a lesson, but it wasn't for that. [Enjoyed it? Yes. Van has always been a fan of watching people suffer for their own self-made problems. Was that so terrible of him? He'd helped Asch. He would have helped more, if only Asch had let up on his ridiculous condition.]
Is it truly that much easier to cooperate with our captors than with me? Or is 'picking the side that wants you to live' all you've ever done? Have you always hated me so much?
[He doesn't want to know the answer, not really; but he may as well ask. Get all of his misery over with at the same time, instead of spreading it out unduly long. Had Asch always hated him?
If he'd known, he wouldn't have wasted all that time. He didn't need Asch for his plans; he needed a hyperresonance, any broken idiot that could provide a complete enough one would have sufficed. If Asch was going to hate him regardless of what he did, he should have just left him in that basement. Instead, he'd...
Played the fool. Ha.]
Is it truly that much easier to cooperate with our captors than with me? Or is 'picking the side that wants you to live' all you've ever done? Have you always hated me so much?
[He doesn't want to know the answer, not really; but he may as well ask. Get all of his misery over with at the same time, instead of spreading it out unduly long. Had Asch always hated him?
If he'd known, he wouldn't have wasted all that time. He didn't need Asch for his plans; he needed a hyperresonance, any broken idiot that could provide a complete enough one would have sufficed. If Asch was going to hate him regardless of what he did, he should have just left him in that basement. Instead, he'd...
Played the fool. Ha.]
[Another long pause, though not as long as the last one; he lowers his head, hands clenching in the material of his pants. The side that wants him to live? Is that what Van believes is his motivation? Surely he can't be that blind...]
...I don't hate you.
[It's a difficult thing to admit, especially for him, especially considering their situations now. But if Van misunderstands his entire reason for fighting, then that, at least, needs to be corrected.
Why - or to what end - he still has no idea. But it's a start.]
[So after going a while now without seeing even a glimpse of Van out and about in the village... Frey's finally decided to contact him. He wasn't too worried. He knew Tear was a competent healer with powerful magic.... at least she had been when she had his back during the draft in the jungle.
Still, there was some concern. He sets up a directional filter, sending a quick message and hoping the other hears it.]
Van?
Still, there was some concern. He sets up a directional filter, sending a quick message and hoping the other hears it.]
Van?
Hmm? [Even from that wordless reply, it should be clear that Van's voice, at least, is in a much better state than it was the last time they spoke. He doesn't sound very attentive, though; and for a simple reason: Frey's managed to catch him dozing. He left the journal open next to him because the background chatter keeps his sleep light and, consequently, untroubled.]
Is it the ligers again? [He's not dazed and confused anymore, honest. Just dreaming of home.]
Is it the ligers again? [He's not dazed and confused anymore, honest. Just dreaming of home.]
.....Ligers....? [He did sound better. But..... What in the world are 'ligers'....?
He notices the dazed tone, wondering if the other man was ill. But no, it sounded more like he had been sleeping. Though that still didn't rule out 'sick', he decided to assume 'just sleeping' until proven otherwise.]
I just wanted to check on you.
He notices the dazed tone, wondering if the other man was ill. But no, it sounded more like he had been sleeping. Though that still didn't rule out 'sick', he decided to assume 'just sleeping' until proven otherwise.]
I just wanted to check on you.
You turned on me. You refused me. You attacked me. You'd rather be with the replica than with me.
[What is that, if not hate? The first three, he can almost comprehend; but the last has been rankling him ever since he arrived. To be passed over for that defect...]
But you don't hate me? [Just how stupid does Asch think his master is?]
[What is that, if not hate? The first three, he can almost comprehend; but the last has been rankling him ever since he arrived. To be passed over for that defect...]
But you don't hate me? [Just how stupid does Asch think his master is?]
[Once his attention is grabbed, instead of just gently tugged at, Van goes from half-asleep to completely alert almost instantly. He also sits up and into the view of the journal's camera. This is a mistake his dignity may never forgive him for making.]
Freyjadour? Yes, I'm- [...
...
...
'...going to fix my hair now.']
Freyjadour? Yes, I'm- [...
...
...
'...going to fix my hair now.']
[He luckily manages to keep from laughing, though he is amused to see the normally composed older man with such.... unruly hair. There's a tiny, well controlled smile on his face that could be merely polite if not for the glint of amusement in his eyes.
He knew a thing or two about uncooperative hair, so he couldn't really fault Van for it. Freyjadour's would probably be just as bad once he grew it out again.]
Awake?
He knew a thing or two about uncooperative hair, so he couldn't really fault Van for it. Freyjadour's would probably be just as bad once he grew it out again.]
Awake?
[Van's voice gets a little distant -- he's gone across the room to find his hairbrush, before his bedhead gains sentience and stages a hostile takeover.]
Quite. Did you need something?
Quite. Did you need something?
I have not seen you around town since you came back. Are you feeling any better? Are your injuries healing alright....?
[How about that bloodloss, Van.]
[How about that bloodloss, Van.]
[But he didn't lose any blood! Unless you count bruises. And that case of intracranial hemorrhaging...
He reappears a few moments later, looking much more composed, thank you very much. What a difference a little brushing can make. Still a touch pale and a little drawn, though. It'll be a while before he puts that weight back on.]
Yes, thank you; but I'm not going to be taken down by something like that.
[Now where did that hairtie go...? He should really learn to take it out before he sleeps, instead of while he's sleeping...]
He reappears a few moments later, looking much more composed, thank you very much. What a difference a little brushing can make. Still a touch pale and a little drawn, though. It'll be a while before he puts that weight back on.]
Yes, thank you; but I'm not going to be taken down by something like that.
[Now where did that hairtie go...? He should really learn to take it out before he sleeps, instead of while he's sleeping...]
[He notices that, but... overall, he seemed to be functioning well enough for someone who had been gone so long. Frey remembered clearly his first kidnapping- the reactions they'd tried to evoke from the rune, the Dawn rune nearly burning his arm off in reaction... It was odd, not having those scars anymore, as faint as they had been thanks to healing magic applied over time.]
I'm glad. I didn't assume it would, but it's always comforting to know that a friend is doing well. The Malnosso scientists have a habit of being... quite brutal.
I'm glad. I didn't assume it would, but it's always comforting to know that a friend is doing well. The Malnosso scientists have a habit of being... quite brutal.
[Something about 'friend' makes him stop and glance at his journal for a moment, consideringly.
...Except then he finds his hair tie and the moment passes. He's silent a moment more; wrangling all that hair into such a tight ponytail takes concentration.]
I can't say I found the experience pleasant; but what option is there other than to recover?
...Except then he finds his hair tie and the moment passes. He's silent a moment more; wrangling all that hair into such a tight ponytail takes concentration.]
I can't say I found the experience pleasant; but what option is there other than to recover?
We'll find way to stop it, eventually. We just need to stop the people doing it.
I had wanted to come see you in person, actually, but I do not know where you live. [Though then he would have possibly been fussing over Van many times over, so maybe that is a blessing in disguise for the other man.]
I had wanted to come see you in person, actually, but I do not know where you live. [Though then he would have possibly been fussing over Van many times over, so maybe that is a blessing in disguise for the other man.]
[That gives Van another moment of pause. He doesn't exactly want it spread around where he's living, for a number of reasons; but... he's not doing anything wrong, living where he is. He's not bothering anyone. And if he's going to blend in with the rest of the village, he's going to have to start entertaining people. He can't appear to have something to hide. Although he does check the strength of that filter before responding. There was blending in, and then there was being careless.]
Community housing 2, apartment 9. [...] There's really no need to check on me, though. I'm quite alright.
Community housing 2, apartment 9. [...] There's really no need to check on me, though. I'm quite alright.
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